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Never TrustingI think we started months ago,
Biting our nails, and always looking back.
I think we grew nervous, suspicious,
We grew unable to forget.
Side-by-side we sleep,
A hand on a gun each,
Because we don't trust,
But we don't want to kill.
Something between us broke,
It shattered and fragmented
Lodging deep in our veins.
Biting, a constant reminder.
You were with her,
And I was with him,
And at that we learned
To never trust again.
If I StopIf I ever stop writing,
Pray I be dead
So I don't have to see the day I give up.
And if I be dead,
Be it an honorable death
One that my family will remember.
As for my family,
I hope they will be okay
And don't have to suffer my failure.
My failure will be a grave one,
So I hope I am dead
Because I could not live with myself
If I ever gave this up.
No RegretsWe're founded on a principle
Of love, honesty and trust.
By the ocean waves and summer days
We swore beneath that sky
"We the free forever.
Fighters of our own rights."
We binded our pact
Blood was to greusome,
Our tears more precious.
But you and I both have secrets,
And we know what it means to live in the dark.
Trust no one, Lie, Sole responsibility.
Most improtantly, never fall in love.
Perhaps we should have used blood,
Since the tears dried up
And our hearts forgot
Because we had no scars to remind us.
Our foundations crumbled beneath us,
And let the angry waters take us
And the sun scorch our skin
Because summer days are full or hatred,
And we broke the rules.
And I would do it all over again
For you, and only for you.
That Thing About YouThere's a lot of things I really hate about you.
I hate that you can make me laugh,
Even though I need to cry.
I hate that you undertsand me,
Because that means my walls are going down.
I hate that you talk to me,
And then walk away.
I hate that you touch me,
And pretend that's okay.
I hate how you smile,
Because it's shy, and your not.
I hate that your smile's lopsided,
Because mine is too.
I hate your hazel eyes,
Because their goddamn pretty.
I hate your slim frame,
Because I'm not
And I think that may be a problem.
I hate that everything I hate about you
Is everything I love about you.
I hate that I can't write about you,
Because everything's cliche
And been said before,
So how am I supposed to get your attention
With my award-winning originality
When I don't even know how.
Most of all, I hate that girl your talking to because her name isnt mine.
It's LifeLife wants to break you,
This I believe.
It wants to push you to your limits
Try and make you give up.
It wants to create cracks in every wall,
To have every barrier around you fall.
Life wants to make you naked and bare.
It wants to send you to hell, make you scared.
It laughs at your predicaments,
It smirks at your cries.
It kicks you when your down,
And especially, it loves to lie.
But it doesn't do this
Because it is evil or cruel.
No, it's building you.
It's forcing you to grow.
Forcing you to be stronger.
This is why the older are wiser,
And the young so dumb.
Truth That LiesI listen to much,
And I begin to believe
What they say is true.
She's ugly, They whisper.
Look at her cry.
He likes her.
No, no, no.
Please don't, I'll die.
I don't want your affection,
Get away, away from me.
I don't need your attention.
Leave, leave, leave.
Those who are near me,
Always do fall.
So go, go, go!
I don't care, crawl.
Just leave my side,
And hope you don't die,
Because already my heart
Has you trapped inside.
He loves her.
She won't let him
Look at her cry.
No, no, no.
No love for me.
No heart for me.
No peace for me.
No, no, no!
This truth, it cannot be.
HeartsickYou're killing me with every word you speak
And you don't even seem to care.
It could be you don't notice,
But I feel that's not the case.
You're hurting me with every word you speak
And darling, I think it's poisoning me to the core.
Because theres bile in my throat and sickness in my bones
And no matter what I just can't feel whole.
Every words another shot of some hyped up drug
That leaves me crying, because I want more.
I should hate you, want you to fall into Hell,
But I need you, and you can't even tell.
You're killing me with every word you speak,
Slowly feading my didsease,
And you smile, as if you didn't even know.
Pocketwatch...Our love is like an eighteenth century dance,
Old and out of step.
(Not to say I don't love dancing out of beat
And pretending no one's watching.)
Our love is like a pocketwatch,
Outdated and out of time.
(But I like to race the clock,
And being late is just like being on time.)
So our love is like old times
Good and looked over
Because pocketwatches are still in style
But only for the older.
So here's to love and old-fashion
Because here's to love and a great Forever-After.
YoursI hope you know I love you,
And the feeling you gave my heart.
I hope you know I need you,
But we just seem to push apart.
I don't know this divide,
But I know you're on the other side.
I don't like this seperation,
It's too much of a temptation.
I wish I could build a bridge,
And I wish I could be with you.
This is what aching is,
And this is why I need you.
I hope you know I love you,
And the understanding that you brought.
I hope you know I need you
And I don't want to be apart.
This chasm in our existence,
Hurts me every instence.
This break in our divide,
Just kills me all the time.
And I want to be beside you,
Caught up and all about you.
I want to be the only one you know,
I want to be yours.
Declaration.It was so random,
when I realized I couldn't run away from you.
The things that you said,
and everything you do;
you know I can't help it,
you know I want you.
Every day in the halls,
and every night in my bed -
I can't help it, can't change it,
you're stuck in my head.
And you know I tried my hardest,
my very, very darn-est.
I tried to get you gone,
to be done,
out of my heart and my mind,
to put you well behind.
But that didn't work, and it's been over a year.
And you're still here, you won't disappear.
You're special in my heart,
locked in a very special place.
You're the first love I've ever had,
and that's something I don't want to replace.
Which is why you hurt me so much,
and why I really couldn't care less.
Call me a masochist all you want,
but to me, you're still the best.
Remember me when I'm not there,
because I always think of you.
The things that you said,
and everything you do;
you know I can't help it,
you know I want you.
It's Hard to Like PeopleI like you, and I don't like it.
You're so sweet and kind to me...
But I hate liking people.
I never know if they like me back,
And if they do...
It only ends in disaster.
I always screw it up.
I'm too clingy, too needy, too lovey.
I get so caught up in love,
I don't even see my mistakes until it's too late.
I don't even know
If the one I like can like me back.
No hints, but if it's a guy, what if he's gay?
If it's a girl, what if she's straight?
This would be a bit easier if everyone was bi...
How am I supposed to try and say it,
If the one I like can't even feel it?
If You Asked Me
If you asked me, then I probably wouldn't mind.
I'm more open minded then you tend to assume. But then again, you'd probably never ask me.
You'd be amazed at what I actually care about, because my line is thin. I can admit to not being the most artistic, realistic, and most out-going.
I can admit to dreaming of my tomorrow, rather than my year from now. And I wouldn't ever mind you waking me up at 3 AM to tell me some stupid story,
But you'd never ask.
I'm easy-going, but I'm not carefree. I'd like to be.
I'd prefer a warm night in, than spending my whole night out among the crowd of other people. I don't mind being alone, but I don't mind the company.
I wouldn't mind laying on the beach every morning, and I wouldn't mind listening to all your stories. I wouldn't mind spending all my time awake, staring up at an endless sky.
I'm a hopeless romantic, striving for that perfect love poem.
But I guess-
You'd never ask.
So I guess, you might as well never know me.
funeralI did not speak at your funeral.
Though you knew me as a writer
I did not write a speech.
On the way to the funeral I stood on my
front porch and heard the
copper leaves rustle and
decided that was enough. The
wind spoke all that was needed from
The others wore black and
even though the words were
I said nothing.
I did not
cry. I heard jokes and happy memories
but I thought they were dark.
I could pour my memories into the
empty air and whisper how
something that created me was
I could murmur
meant anything anymore
but they wouldn't believe me.
You wouldn't believe me, if you heard
what they said about you.
They loved you, but I loved you
I think I started to cry
but you didn't see my
so they didn't matter.
I sobbed and
the earth was silent and
I did not speak at your funeral.
You Think...I wake up every morning,
Go take a GAY shower,
Put on GAY clothes,
Go to GAY school,
Hang out with GAY friends,
Do GAY homework,
Go to GAY work,
And work my GAY job.
Pay GAY bills,
Pay GAY rent,
Raise a GAY family.
Go shopping at the GAY store,
Eat GAY food,
Go to a GAY doctor,
Go to GAY church.
If you want the truth, take out the word GAY from every task. The life of someone who is gay is no different than yours. Grow up.
My Best FriendI always loved you
You were my best friend
But you were lying
I found in the end
The one I could trust
I was there for you
With all we've been through
How could you do this
I thought we were mates
I guess I shouldn't
Have tempted my fate
So quick was your change
Turned your back on me
Called me the bad guy
so engulfed in greed
You were so selfish
You took her away
She was my true love
That was 'til today
Now I look at you
And I look at her
And I feel betrayed
And so full of hurt
My sky has turned gray
My heart has grown cold
I lost both of you
And I've grown so old
They tell me i'm out of my mind,
It makes my mother cry,
But i wear my smiles,
For in my mind I Can see them all die,
Question my Sanity ,
But its a waste of your time,
My Sanity is the color black,
If you wish to change it back,
Then good luck with that.
Because to me,
I'll never need their Sanity
95. AcceptanceImagine two rooms of people
strangers and friends
In the first room, you are
not hated, not forced out
They laugh, they smile
with lips like plastic wrap
stretched tight over something unpleasant
but you are not
In the second room, you are
and the music swirls around you and
mingles with the chatter
mindless, yes, but surrounding you and including you
wrapping you in itself.
Tolerance is a cold, emotionless word in a cold, emotionless world
populated by ice and glass.
Acceptance is fleece and down and warmth.
My LifeSo, someone wanna tell me who the fuck decided this was my life?
EH? Anybody volunteering?
Aight, so let me get this straight
Ain't nobody told me my life's gotta be this way?
So what's keeping me here?
After all the lies and all the tears
Why is it I'm surrounded by fear
This isn't me,
That girl on the floor,
So it's time to take my life
And walk on out the door
What is here that's different from there?
Chocking on my own inhibitions
Baby I gotta break free,
But don't worry, it's not you it's me
That isn't me,
That girl on your bed,
So I'm taking off
I ain't getting wed
So some dickwad boy
That don't see,
This isn't really me
Fine, I'm not your dream girl,
This ain't my dream life
Cocktail parties, sweat stained sheets,
I'm breaking up inside
Always sick, always high
So I gotta blow this town,
It's time to take back what's mine
No one says I have to live this life
No one says it's this or die
So when you wake up I'll be gone
No more bullshit no more lies
This isn't me
I'm Not a GameI'm going to kill you with kindness,
Softly break your heart of stone.
I'll make you feel loved, wanted, wonderful,
Like how I just wanted to feel.
I'll spread fissures through your heart
and expose the beating flesh beneath.
Then slip a dagger through the cracks,
And take your bitter heart beat.
My name will be on your lips,
My love and hate your last memory.
I'm going to kill you with kindness
Because thats what you did to me.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More